WHERE IS NADIA ?
'err, here miss.' i answered her question immediately while raised up my right hand.
'nadia, about your presentation last day. you did not really well. you was mumble and i could not understand what you were trying to tell about. your point are not strong and and and i think YOU ARE JUST READ and lost EYE CONTACT with your audiences. however, i believe that you can do well in future because i can see it despite of your credibility.
aku tertunduk seketika. menelan air liur yang bagai tersekat di keronkong. meramas jari jemari dan cuba menenangkan diri sendiri. aku masih lagi mendengar komen2 miss terhadap classmates lain. serasanya hanya aku yang mendapat feedback yang tidak memberangsangkan. MALU dan PILU.
Itu sahaja yang terbuku didasar hati kecil ku ini. sedari dulu sehinggalah hari ini, aku tidak mampu untuk speaking fluently like the other members of mine. aku buntu. namun aku cuba menyembunyikan resah dan walang hati ku ini.
kelas pada pagi tersebut diisi dengan latihan untuk speaking test . for incoming speaking test in EPT, we need to prepare in one group consists of four people. latihan tersebut berjalan dengan agak lancar walaupun pada ,mulanya kami agak malu2 kerana tidak begitu rapat sebelum ini.
tajuk pertama yang diberikan oleh miss kami ialah 'global warming'. susah sikit lah topik nih sbb kami cuma ada dua minit untuk brainstorm. yang keluar mase aku speaking topik nih pun ciput. hehehe.
tajuk kedua pulak, pasal movies. Alhamdulillah, nampak sikit perubahan point yang dapat aku lontarkan. better daripada tajuk first (walaupun gagap-gagap) hehe.
and tajuk last sekali kami discuss is about, students success. tajuk ini macam best sikit sebab senang nak dapat isi, dan elaboration nya tak de lah complicated.
dan tibalah masa yg ditunggu-tunggu.
'ok class, lets end our class with tasbih kifarah surah al aas'
yeah2 balik ! hehe.
aku pun mengemaskan buku2 dan menjadi orang yang last sekali keluar daripada kelas.
lantas menuju ke depan, untuk bersalaman dengan miss kesayanganku.
aku mencapai tangannya dan menundukkan kepala agar hidungku menyentuh tangannya. lantas, aku memandang wajah miss.
'miss, im sorry because i cant present well. thats my weakness. what i wanna to say did not come out when i am in front of audiences. although i had public speaking subject last semester, i even cant controlled my feeling and mutter.' aku amat sebak untuk meluahkan masalah yang aku hadapi.
tapi aku cuba tahan perasan ku yang bergelora ini.
'nadia, i was very shocked and did not expect that you would did like that. i expected you are well and have no problem but instead you do. i understand your feeling and we can change that. please dont break my hope upon you.
' i give very high expectation to ENCOM students ( encom stands for ENGLISH FOR INTERNATIONAL COMMUNICATION) I though all of you very good and well in ENGLISH.
miss continued her talk.
' but it really dumped me under pressure. it just like i was forced although im not usual enough to speak fluently in public speaking class.whenever i tried to speak, it did not come out as what im thinking' i tried to explain more to her. it is pain to hold this kind of feeling.
' it is okay nadia, even you were not comfortable to change yourself in previous semester, do start it now. use english class as a platform to change your capability in speaking english. actually, it is part of psychology. you should encourage yourself. you should think you are better than others nadia. try TO CHANGE your perception. she briefly explain about my problem.
i was speechless ..
'it is okay, i will help you. dont be sad anymore. okay ?
Miss smiled broadly to convince my heart.
i replied with beamed to ease my heart
before go away from the class.
along the journey towards my colledge, i think and kept thinking. am i able to change this disability?
am i able?
OH MY ALLAH,
DO HELP YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT .
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